Got an email last week from a curious (and very polite) human we’ll call Captain Sleepytime.

He asked me:

“What’s the one secret to better sleep?”

One secret?

Hahahahhahahahahahaha.

Buddy, this ain’t Hogwarts. I’m not here to sprinkle melatonin dust on your forehead — blessed by a unicorn fart — and chant CBD incantations into your third-eye chakra.

You want better sleep?

You want to recover like a gorilla on growth hormone?

You need violent consistency and zero tolerance for fluff.

Let’s tear the sheets off the mattress and get real.

Environment: Where Dreams Go to Live or Die

Your bedroom is not:

  • A nightclub
  • A Netflix bunker
  • A stress-reactor war zone

It’s a temple of slumber.

Set it up like this:

Cold – Start at 66°F. Think Finnish winter.

  • Dark – So dark even black holes get jealous. No blinking LEDs. Kill the glow from every charging cable.
  • Quiet – Or go with white noise. A cheap fan works great and may even lower CO₂ levels (hat tip to Dr. Andy “Goes Full Nerd” Galpin).

If your room looks like Best Buy and feels like hot yoga, you’re doing it wrong, bro.

Downregulate Like a Ninja Monk on Propranolol

You can’t doomscroll 47 TikToks and expect to hit REM without your nervous system launching a mutiny.

Don’t “believe” in stress?

It believes in you. And it’s kicking your circadian rhythm in the groin every night.

Here’s how to power down:

  • No screens. No Slack pings. No debates about seed oils with Biohacking BroZ.
  • Create a ritual. Read a paperback. Stretch like a sleepy panther. Light a candle.

Same. Thing. Every. Night. Routine signals your brain to shift from Wick Mode to wind-down.

Bonus Coaching Insight:

If you crash in 30 seconds but wake at 2:47 a.m. like a raccoon on Red Bull, that’s not victory — that’s a sleep debt boomerang.

You need more downreg, not more hacks.

Data, Baby: Sleep Is Math With Sweat

I love the Oura Ring, too, but if all you do is stare at your REM bar like it’s a high score, you’re missing the point.

Metrics that matter:

  • Overnight heart rate – Did it drop or hover like a hummingbird?
  • HRV – Trending up or flatlining like a stressed-out lemur?
  • Respiratory rate – Criminally underrated.
  • Body temp – Tracks circadian rhythm, immune function, and stress.

All of this shows how deep you’re actually recovering.

Track trends — not unicorn dreams.

And if your sleep device is giving you anxiety?

Stuff it in a drawer. Go by feel for a week.

Final Verdict: No Magic Pill. Just Mastery.

Want to recover like a savage, burn fat, hold onto gainZ, and stay lean without grinding yourself into dust?

Here’s your checklist:

  • Control your environment
  • Downregulate like a pro
  • Track what matters

That’s it.

No wizardry. No gummies made with Mongolian yak milk and 17.7 mg of melatonin.

Just applied knowledge and violent consistency, every. damn. night.

Applied knowledge with love,

Dr. Mike

PS – Want a full nerd-explosion on sleep and the seven other recovery pillars? The Flex Diet Cert reopens June 16. Intervention #8 is all about sleep. I go deep — like delta-wave, low-HR deep.