Episode 317: Enhancing Coaching & Leadership in Sports with Tex McQuilkin

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Dr Mike T Nelson: [00:00:00] What’s going on? Welcome back to the Flex Diet Podcast. I’m your host, Dr. Mike T. Nelson. On this podcast, we talk about all things to increase your body’s ability to perform, add muscle, improve body composition, do all of it within a flexible framework without destroying your health. Today on the podcast, we’ve got my good buddy Tex, and he is from.

Captains and coaches.com all spelled out. That’s captain and coaches.com. They’re building leaders both on and off the field. It’s been awesome to get to know him over the last year and a half or so, and we had a great discussion here. All about wide variety of topics here. Once again, more so on the leadership and coaching front.

Everything from a little bit about social media and how its influences is what we believe the influence of AI is going to [00:01:00] be in the coaching and content creation business. What is the best methods for preparation and execution? Tools for developing social awareness coaching scars and their impact.

And even everything else from. Motivational drills, team dynamics even programming. We cover a wide variety of stuff here. Always love talking to him. Always has wonderful things about the coaching process both at the high school college, and I know he is even done consulting. At the highest level for football, NFL, and other top level sports organizations.

So I think you’ll enjoy it. This podcast. Big thanks to him. Make sure to check out all the wonderful stuff he is got on social media and his website, which he mentions captains and coaches. He is got a great podcast. You may even find yours truly nerdy over there on the podcast. Also, we’ll [00:02:00] make sure to link to that.

And thank you to him for coming on and sharing all this wonderful knowledge. I also wanna let you know that the Physiologic Flexibility Certification is currently open right now. So if you’re listening to this podcast when it came out, you can enroll in the Physiologic Flexibility Certification. It’ll currently be open from March 17th, 2025 through.

March 24th, 2025 at midnight Pacific Standard Time. Best place to get all the information is on the Free Insider Newsletter. We’ll put a link to it down below. If you have any questions on that, let me know. Just hop on and email me through. There is by far the best way to reach me and the physiologic flexibility certification is for people.

If you’re getting a. I would say a b and nutrition and exercise and sleep. Obviously everyone probably has [00:03:00] ways they can improve that, but once you’re doing pretty decent with those, what is the next level to look for? Like how do you know what interventions to do? My bias is if you stress the underlying systems that your body has to hold constant, then you will be more robust, anti-fragile.

Recovery will be better and just generally much harder to kill. So those four pillars are gonna be temperature changes, can be everything from exercising outside, either in the heat or the cold sauna, cold water immersion, all that kind of stuff. Again, there are low technology ways you can do all of these pH changes, either high pH or a lower pH.

Number three would be expanded fuel system. Obviously we go over the basic fuels of fat and carbohydrates. And the flex diet certification that one will open again this coming June. In the physiologic flexibility. We expand that out on the carbohydrate end to the inclusion [00:04:00] of lactate, which is actually a really good fuel source.

And then also ketones on the fat side. And then pillar number four is regulation of oxygen and carbon dioxide, basically breathing and air. If you can get better at all of those four, which most people don’t do a lot of direct practice in that area, therefore for most of the interventions, you don’t need a ton of time to spend on ’em.

But just a little bit of time invested in that I do believe will pay high dividends in increase in your body’s ability to recover and become more anti-fragile. So got a ton of stuff in there. We also got expert interviews. I think right now the total course is probably around, I think it’s 27 hours.

So it’s extremely comprehensive. You will get private email access to me if you have any questions as you go through. It’s a hundred percent online in an online learning environment. So if you want more information hop onto the newsletter. We’ve got all the information going out to the free newsletter, and I [00:05:00] hope to see you there.

Also, if you’re looking for electrolytes, check out my friends at Element LMT below my far my favorite electrolyte. And then for ketones, as we talked about in the ert you can get into a state of ketosis without having to do a ketogenic diet. In fact, by the use of ketone esters, you can get into a pretty high state of ketones in your bloodstream.

And this can be independent of carbohydrate intake. So one thing I’ve been doing on my higher, I’d say CNS days where I’m doing more grip training specifically, I will increase my dose of ketone esters, and it seems to help. The good part is they’re actually not a stimulant, so you can use them anytime of the day also.

So check them out at Teon. Below, we’ve got the link. I am an ambassador for them, so I do make some money. Use the code, Dr. Mike. Full disclosure, I am also a scientific advisor to them. So thank you [00:06:00] so much. Thank you so much to Tex for being on the podcast and enjoy this great conversation with him.

Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. Huge thanks to Texs for being on the podcast. Make sure to check out all of his wonderful stuff. We’ll link to his website, his Instagram, his Epic podcast. You’ll be able to reach him there. If you want him to work with yourself or your organization directly on which he does, I would highly recommend that.

And if you’re interested in expanding your physiologic flexibility, the physiologic flexibility Cert is open from now, depending on when you are listening to this. It’s open March 17th, 2025 through March 24th at midnight 2025. Bele is to get on the newsletter. I have all sorts of information going out to the Insider newsletter.

We’ll have a link to that down below. If you have any questions on there, you can let me know. If you’re looking for ketones, [00:07:00] check out my friends over at Teton. A full disclosure, I am an ambassador for them and a scientific advisor, and then I am also an ambassador for Element. So check them out below Also, for all your electrolyte needs.

Thank you so much for listening to the podcast. I hope to see you in the physiologic flexibility. Certification, if you could help us out by leaving us review however many stars you feel is appropriate, subscribe, download, like all that great stuff that helps us out with the algorithm. Really appreciate it.

Welcome back to the podcast. How’s it going Tex? Great, man. Happy Thursday. Yeah, it is a Thursday. I’m slowly losing track of what day of the week it is. I guess it’s probably not a bad thing per se, but.

Tex McQuilkin: No, if you’re working hard, it all blends together.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah. And we got to see you again recently in Virginia, which was awesome as always good times.

Yeah.

Tex McQuilkin: Building brands, building businesses and taking the latest in, technology, [00:08:00] AI information and how we can better improve our communication to make connections and empower people.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah. And that kind of relates to what we’re going to talk about today. More of the. Kind of EQ side of coaching and related to AI, how do you see AI complimenting coaching?

And how do you see it maybe opening up other avenues or even emphasizing other aspects of coaching that are going to be even more important?

Tex McQuilkin: Great question. So people fail and fall at the margins of their experience. So now, if I’m working with a set specific age group, I’m limited to that age group, and the opportunity I open up for myself as a coach, or I move, then I meet new age groups, and I’m only limited to my experience.

So with AI, there’s different techniques and tools you can use to search the entire internet. And that can help summarize, explain, and make connections that you [00:09:00] may not be able to quickly. Where sometimes if it’s researching different theories or I need a quick rundown, Hey, summarize this for me, I need to explain it to a bunch of 18 year olds.

Then I can take these complex theories and ask AI to then, Okay, speak to this at an 8th grade level. And it really puts it into very simplified bullet points that I could write onto a whiteboard and then make these connections with these high schoolers. Usually for high school I go 8th grade. And then for any college athlete speaking too, find a middle ground depending on the university.

If I’m going to somewhere on the northeast coast, then I’ll commit to a 12th grade level. But some of these southern schools, then hey. Maybe I stick with the eighth grade level. So just helping me take complex information Synthesize it so I understand it real quick and then can deliver it to my audience in a very bullet point [00:10:00] Simplified manner and then it’s my job as a coach and communicator to connect it to their limited experience So sometimes that’s pulling out stories from them.

Sometimes it’s thinking back to my athletic career Making connection there of how this theory example or tool played out when I was on this team or training for this. So it’s awesome. I’m loving every minute of it. And then we got the opportunity to find our voice within that and go through some cool personality tests to help craft AI.

Within our unique writing and speaking voices so that we can accelerate our content creation, which that’s the name of the game these days.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah. I still have a very hard time getting AI to write how I want it to write, but maybe that’s because I have a lot of reps writing and I’m probably too overly analytical [00:11:00] about it.

But I have used it where I have to write. Serial emails, like for a sales series, or obviously I’m doing emails for Triphasic 2 now. And I can put an input in like the Triphasic 2 book and then get like a very rough template of what I want to say. And I don’t end up using a lot of it in the end, but to have that template and to be like, okay, here’s one for Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and to have them be more in a series to have the whole thing kind of flow better.

And to sit down in the morning and have. Even just an outline or a rough draft, even if you change all of it, just having that starting point, I found was like, super, super helpful because otherwise you, you almost get this like with coaching too, like there’s too much info and you want to try to make it good and simple for the reader.

But there’s almost like 800 things you could pick from and I spend too long, like trying to figure out what to write about and just a lot of wasted effort.

Tex McQuilkin: Yeah, I’ve also used it for podcast preparation as well. [00:12:00] Ah, nice. This has probably been the most beneficial thing. If I’m traveling to interview somebody usually I try to parlay a podcast with a work trip.

Wherever I go. So if I’m going to a conference, okay, who else is, who’s speaking at this conference, who’s hanging out at this conference? I’m gonna find time for a podcast for them. If I’m going to a a speaking gig or a contract, Okay, who’s cool that lives in this town? All right, I’m going to connect with them.

So I was recently, yeah, recently in Knoxville. And I got the opportunity to podcast with Wes Kitts, USA Olympic weightlifter representation, Pan Am American. So I had time to little time to prepare for him while I’m preparing for the event. And so, okay, lean into AI and took every, found every interview, found a bunch of articles from his his preparation for the Olympics, threw them all into [00:13:00] AI.

So now I got his whole history and then put me in a position to craft a podcast outline that I can then send to him to say, hey, here’s where my mind’s at. This is what I want to lead us to, and then we just wrapped. So it’s seamless and effortless preparation to then step up to the plate with a very prestigious, experienced athlete.

And then, it was awesome. It was so seamless. It was great. It was a great shot. It was really cool.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah, I definitely have to play with that because now Probably 99 percent of the time, I just interview people I already know because I don’t have to do any prep then, but if it was somebody else, like a handful of times I’ve done it, like bigger names, Oh man, like it takes me so long because I get so neurotic where I don’t want to just ask them a list of the same questions everyone’s asked, but I want to make sure I actually read [00:14:00] their work, make sure I’m familiar with it, listen to a couple of interviews, listen to read their books.

It’s And that part takes me a long time, which is why the lead times on some of those interviews is probably not the best. So if I get stuck with a big opportunity and only like a few days, that’s definitely super useful to be like, Hey, here’s the things you need to know to narrow it down is super useful.

Tex McQuilkin: Yeah. And fun, like fun, little nuggets and facts that I would have had to listen to a 90 minute interview before to, to find. And then it’s just pulled out and highlighted as something unique for me there. And the Yeah, pre AI preparation, I, very fortunate, 700 interviews, a whole bunch of authors, get their book, dive into their book, and sometimes if a company connected the author with us, they’d send us the book in like a press pack of paper, and, okay, here’s the questions that they’re prepared for.[00:15:00]

So there were a couple of interviews leaned into that, but then it was so scripted because they were on a book tour. It wasn’t fun. So then just threw out the list and I couldn’t read the whole book in time. So I just lean into the outline. And Oh, this looks interesting and had them explain like how they came to that conclusion, what it means to them.

And we got some just amazing random facts out of people and stories. And by the end of it, just won them over because they’re so used to the cookie cutter. So learned a lot, just basically trying to go by the script and then now just throwing it off and aiming for a conversation unless they got a great story to tell.

And then it’s fun for me to help lead them to a powerful point or experience or story that I know is waiting there for the audience.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah, that’s what I do now is I take a look at the list of questions and I normally read them and then I just throw them [00:16:00] and if I, if it’s the first time I’m interviewing someone and I don’t know them real well.

So I interviewed James LaValle recently. I’ve read all this stuff for years, followed his stuff for years. Awesome guy. I just sent the person arranging it and said, okay, that’s great. I want to ask him about this, and this roughly, and just have a conversation and she’s okay. And he was great.

Like he was all totally fine with it. He’s Oh no, this is great. It’s more fun, cause. It’s like a, an interaction that you want the other person to actually feel like they’re having fun, but you want it to be productive for them at the same time. It’s just like coaching athletes. You want, yes, we can do stuff.

It’s enjoyable. No, not everything we do is going to be enjoyable, but we can find that happy medium where you like doing it. It’s making progress. We’re getting to the result. Then cool. It’s like a win for everyone. And I think. People would want to more listen to those kind of style, stylistic episodes too.

Because like when a book comes out and you pull up a certain podcast about it. Oh my God, like the 10 of those podcasts [00:17:00] are literally almost verbatim the same thing.

Tex McQuilkin: Exactly. And they’re going by that script. And yeah, I wouldn’t want to listen to those. No, I listen to one and

Dr Mike T Nelson: then I’m like, I’m done.

Tex McQuilkin: Yeah. Trying to have a conversation that I would, if we were at dinner. That’s the goal. Yeah, not fake the way through it. That’s not for anybody, not even them.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah. I know you’re on a tour we’ll say travel recently with my buddy, Brett Bartholomew, who will link to his podcast, which was up here just recently.

And yeah, tell me about what was the point of that, or at least what is. public knowledge, like why were you there and what were you teaching?

Tex McQuilkin: Yeah. So Brett leads art of coaching. com. Check it out. Awesome communication conflict experience. And so he got a contract with university of Tennessee swimming to, to speak on their culture.

And we effectively split up the men’s and the women’s teams and they, that school combined swim and dive. Some schools [00:18:00] swim is separate from dive. So to really help camaraderie and training and it was just cool team dynamic across the men’s and the women’s team and the coaching staff brought us into effectively.

attack conflict. Okay, where does conflict exist right now? Again, these are 18 to 22 year old kids. There’s going to be conflict. Think roommates, think relationships. So now, okay, how do we constructively have that before things get swept underneath the rug, before things become just toxic and tragic and negatively affect the culture?

So then, Brent was, Brett was presenting on a lot of theories, and then we would step in and help lead group discussions and dynamics. And it was a lot of fun, man, seeing the teams come together and then what us really encouraging them to stand up and say, Hey. X, Y, Z, this is conflict that I have with this [00:19:00] person, and so then bringing them together, not like the old talk shows in the nineties during the day where things are going to get rowdy.

But walking Like the Jerry Springers? Yeah. Jerry Springers. Maur Marys. Oh yeah, was it Mari

Dr Mike T Nelson: Povich or whoever that was?

Tex McQuilkin: Yeah. So nothing like that. While that would have made great TV it’s not team building. But yeah, it was cool. So exploring these different theories that Brent’s deep dove, one, one that I really enjoyed learning about was self discrepancy theory.

So this was a new term to me. So I really had to get up to speed on that and then. It’s if you imagine a visual there, there’s these three points. One point is your actual self. Think your attitudes, your behaviors, your decisions, how you’re going through each day to day. Then there, there’s your ideal self.

This is what you’re aiming and striving to be. It’s [00:20:00] your perfect picture of you that you’ve painted. And then there’s something called the ought self. So the ought self is now how I think Dr. Mike perceives me and then how that perception affects my decisions and actions. So now you get all these hard charging athletes that.

They are pushing and fighting for that ideal, but they’re still human beings. And this goes for all athletes, not just the group we were speaking with. So then there’s their actual decisions, behaviors, press and snooze on the alarm or run in late to, to class all these different things that are reality.

And then What is their ideal? Do they get defensive when you step into a situation where somebody calls you out for being late to class and then you start to blame something else? So now, how does that conflict reach? How are you reacting? Are you defaulting to a certain personality? And so Art of [00:21:00] Coaching does a great job of painting all these different default defense mechanisms.

And so we had all the students basically self identify their defense mechanisms to put them in a position to say, Hey, I’m a sin eater. When I make a mistake, I’m going to hide, crawl, and just get quiet. And then I can’t recall a couple of the others off the top of my head, but there’s a whole archetype and list.

So had the students self identify. So now across the team if I stand up and I say sin eater because I’m a sin eater just raised Irish Catholic I joke I’m a recovering Catholic. So now if my team is aware of how I default to conflict they can learn to approach me different ways and the coaching staff as well.

So now we can aim to accelerate and get to a resolution quicker versus just taking my own perceptions, defaults, putting [00:22:00] ideals, putting them on somebody else, and then holding them accountable for my ideals, and then that’s when miscommunications, that’s when conflict starts to boil up, and we see the fights on the sideline in the football games.

We see all the external on TV stuff. It was happening well before that. It just reached a breaking point. So, yeah, Brett’s that master of communication and cool that teams are bringing the art of coaching in to, step in and help shape culture. So I was there to help facilitate and freaking arm wrestle some of these athletes with Brett and I had a great time.

Dr Mike T Nelson: That’s awesome. Does that apply across teams? Like opposite teams or just within teams, so I’m thinking about Like in the NFL receiver with somebody that’s guarding him and they’re, barking at each other the whole game do some of those things [00:23:00] can apply in that situation where it’s actually more of an adversarial type thing and they’re not on your same team?

It depends. So then

Tex McQuilkin: the of that level, there’s a lot of respect for each other cause they know what everyone’s going through, but there’s still rivalries across across the sidelines towards individuals that they may not get along with. So the team dynamics at that level is very interesting cause they’re all professionals.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah.

Tex McQuilkin: All the challenges and the problems that we see at the pro level. There are certainly working their way down to now less mature individuals that money is flooding into the college level. And something I learned, which I believe is going into effect next season, so 25 26 school year, there’s going to be roster caps for all sports teams.

Ah, I wondered about that. Massive football. So I coached university of Texas football. We had [00:24:00] 150 dudes, not everybody dressed, some got to wear their Jersey on the sideline and hang out in khakis. Other dudes were dressed and ready. Now the roster limit for football is gonna be 105 people.

So legacy walk ons, the kids that were their parents played, they’re never gonna touch the field, but hey, they’re Rudy Ruediger out there just busting tail during practice. That kid’s not gonna have a place anymore. So it’s going to be interesting the conflict across that because team dynamics and team coming together because of the money, because, they’re going to have to attack resentment, they’re going to attack jealousy, all these different negative emotions, coaches got to nip them in the bud before they affect the team.

And that one and done, hey, I’m having struggles. I’m going to go into the transfer portal by versus let’s develop for at least two years, three years and four years. So the, yeah the [00:25:00] NFL is interesting because. There’s a lot of camaraderie. Those guys can go 100 miles an hour at each other, but at the end of the day, just go dap each other up after the game, or really hate each other.

And I think that’s probably more more personal level versus the whole league. Just depends, man. So, yeah, there’s a lot of these conflicts and human problems that we’re gonna be seeing just because television’s on college, television’s on the NFL on Sundays. And yeah, where I’m working with in the high school, that’s where I feel it starts to get deep seated and rooted.

And I truly believe a high school coach, you are the last line of defense for a lot of athletes that are not going to college to play athletics. Because you’re going to, they’re entering into the real world with professors and bosses that Just don’t, they don’t care. They don’t care about you. They have their expectations, their their standards, their [00:26:00] bottom lines to meet, and excuses are not going to go far in that scenario.

So high school coaches are awfully important, not only for performance, weight room, numbers, wins, but also crafting this character so we don’t get the the certain stars that we see on Sundays that are just wild cards. Heh.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah, I remember my good buddy Brian Grasso talked about this years ago.

Is that if you’re a coach, let’s say in high school, or even in some smaller colleges that, I don’t know what statistic you look at 90, 99%, whatever, like a very high amount of those athletes are not going to play professional sports. And if that’s true, then what are your philosophies?

Yes, you want to win. Yes. Performance is part of the deal. That’s just how it goes. But beyond that, like you were saying. What are you actually preparing these athletes for because I think we’ve been sold [00:27:00] this bill of goods that it’s all about just reaching the professional level and some do for sure, but vast majority do not.

And if they don’t, well, what are you really preparing them for at that point, especially when you know, you’ve got some athletes that. It doesn’t matter how hard Johnny works. He’s just not going to be a professional, as is the reality of it. That’s just the way it is. And that’s most people just by looking at the sheer numbers of how it works.

Big

Tex McQuilkin: time. So, and I see this all the time, just working at the high school level, especially in Texas with high school football coaches. Oh yeah.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Well,

Tex McQuilkin: I’ll say this EQ and IQ is pretty low, especially when it comes to weightlifting. So I coach lacrosse, which is a club sport. And so the dudes are training weightlifting with the football team.

And then coming to lacrosse practice and I got to check in, what [00:28:00] do we do today? How did they teach you how to do this? So I’m not too concerned about what the coach said. I want to know how the athlete interpreted that. So this is effective coaching. If I can communicate a setup execution and expectation for a kid and they knock it out and they can repeat it back to me or have it look good, then I’m in a good place.

And I, if it’s not, then I need to shape it. So, I need these kids to relay good movement, good setup, execution, and they often do not. So then I have them print out the program that they’re following, and help lead them in a position to not get themselves hurt. Especially when it comes to one rep maxes, which high schoolers should not be doing.

They don’t have enough reps, they don’t have enough testosterone, it doesn’t matter. And the percentage is That the coach is going to base a program off of a high school. There’s one rep max. In three months, that kid’s a different [00:29:00] kid. They had a growth spurt. They they developed. So the percentage is either hurting them or holding them back.

So communicating EQ to these coaches, that’s one of the most challenging things. How I’ve effectively found a way to do that is, is leaning into elementary school development, believe it or not. So there’s something I’ve really connected with called social emotional learning. So this is how elementary schools are developing.

Their curriculum for these kids and then now high schoolers when I’ve had conflict like behavioral issues with high school athletes, I used to label and blame them. This kid’s a bad kid. What? What is going on with them? But now just understanding the whole elementary progress and development, I can make connections and I can speak to what’s going on at home again.

I’m in a small town. We got a whole school. Range of different [00:30:00] classes that live here from really nice homes to dudes that are, they’re going into the trades after they graduate school or they’re joining the military. Those are the only options. So now, okay, and when we’re seven, we start to learn team dynamics, in, in, intrapersonal communication, team building activities in P.

E. and classes. So now I can understand, okay, this kid’s an asshole, he’s a bad teammate. So now, tell me about your life growing up. So find connections between when the team working lesson started to plant within school, there’s usually a conflict. Parents are divorced, or they moved, or something happened.

So making that connections from life to where they had this very important development point, and then finding a gap and a lapse. But now, leading strength and conditioning, or leading practices and team building [00:31:00] activities. Okay, well, here we’re going to focus on this. This individual, you’re going to go with this group.

And mix up the groups according to who needs it. So that takes a high level of EQ, but if you lean into social emotional learning, it breaks it down into a very learning progress, where they’re teaching it to teachers. So now taking this model and shaping it for leadership for athletics, and there’s five phases.

There’s self awareness, self management, social awareness, we got relationship skills, and then what we all want from athletes. Whether they’re kids or adult is responsible decision making. And all of those lead to responsible decision making. So now finding different tools, warm ups, practices weightlifting that drives self awareness.

And now in my weight rack with my group, now I develop social awareness because we’re spotting each other. I’m not just in my own head or on my phone. during late lifting, [00:32:00] I got to watch this kid. Or if we’re doing isometric and holds, I’m counting for my teammates. So now I get communication and connection and I see how they’re suffering.

And then guess what? I get to step underneath that barbell or the dumbbells and do those same holds and they’re accounting for me. So mutual accountability is starting to built in there. So finding good tools like that’s expressed in triphasic training and then making that connection for them. It’s almost it’s not about the program they’re following.

It’s about the program as a whole and bringing these guys together and then the What I love about the podcast is I pose this stuff. I ask different questions to coaches and they share tools that I can just say, Oh man, that’s going to fit great here. Whether it’s a movement a drill or just a an EQ practice interviewed Ryan Davis, the head football strength and conditioning coach for Maryland.

[00:33:00] And he calls it the three H’s. When his team is in training camp and leading up to the season for the Maryland guys, he has each individual stand up and say three H’s. The first is going to be a hero. Share a hero in your life leading up to that point. The next is going to be share a hardship. What’s something difficult that you’ve been through and then a highlight.

What is something you are super proud of, whether yourself, your team, your family, something. So now you get that 105 dudes all sharing this and we can start to really come together empathize, sympathize, and really connect over bonds that maybe guys were embarrassed or silent about. And the coaching staff is listening in.

So it’s yeah, all these different tools are connected, but empowering coaches with these tools can help lead to EQ so then we prevent. I’m stealing this from Harrison Bernstein, who’s a professional [00:34:00] strength and conditioning coach for the Redskins way back when, but now runs a program called Soldiers to Sidelines.

So Soldiers coming back from service. Getting into coaching. So he calls these coaching scars. So whether it’s a high school or whether it’s a a college athlete, coach said something, and then that became their identity their self limiting belief, who they are. And more often than not, it’s something negative.

What I hate about that for the high school that isn’t going to college, that isn’t going pro for sure, now it becomes that label for hard work, that label for fitness, that label for team building, or that label for authority. So, whenever I hear a kid say, Ah, coach hates me. I gotta step in and really help frame what’s going on here, so it doesn’t become a a label for themselves.

That will then determine the rest of their [00:35:00] life.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah. One of the analogies I’ve used with athletes and clients is if you have some negative like that, some athletes want to hyper associate it to everything else and the analogy I’ve used, it’s that’s if you put bubble gum in your hair, instead of trying to get it out, you just take all your hair and just just mash it all around.

And now you’ve got a bigger mess that at some point you have to get it out of your hair. You can’t just live with it there the rest of your life. It’s if you have those things just deal with it when it happens don’t try to hyper associate it to everything else in your life, because then it’s going to be much harder to get out.

Tex McQuilkin: Oh, big time. And then a lot of these coaches at the high school level, they got that gum way in that hair. Oh yeah.

Dr Mike T Nelson: And

Tex McQuilkin: they don’t realize it. So then they just take that gum and they’re putting it in all the athletes that they don’t like. Or maybe they feel are different and then they’re just spreading that gum around.[00:36:00]

And who knows where that coach got it, but it continues to stick.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah. And that makes me think about all these weird, even just epigenetic changes. And you look at the Dutch famine study about how there was, yeah, genetic changes on the epigenetic level, like two or three generations down that had to do with metabolism and their hunger ratios and everything else of.

How many of these things are we going to look back and realize that there is a direct action associated with that is going against some of the athletes, but even how that may carry, not even on a direct action, but almost even on almost a epigenetic level that you may have never even had this type of scar, this type of thing, but you’re pre programmed already in that direction.

That makes sense.

Tex McQuilkin: Oh, big time. This is family dynamics. And another podcast I did, I absolutely loved I brought [00:37:00] a marriage and family therapist on. He’s also the world renowned expert for male eating disorders. Oh, interesting. Oh, he stumbled into that. the expertise, right? Didn’t seek it out, but just so happened that he went for families and then picked up opportunities of, Oh, here’s connections here with this individual and eating disorders and then found himself working with Olympians professionals, D one college athletes.

And so he’s he connected back to family dynamics. Somebody said one thing that planted a seed And then it’s expressed out here, but then before that, somebody’s father, coach, mom, whoever said one thing that then planted into the person that one thing said, and it is this epigenetic of, social psychology challenges that continue to get pushed down [00:38:00] for those that do not have self awareness.

Where you can, or self management, where you’re holding back what I’m thinking right now and then put the right words in place to help motivate, redirect, change behavior, or, there’s another cool thing, neuro linguistic programming, I don’t know if you’ve heard of that. NLP. Yeah. So then with kids, that’s huge in elementary school because now you’re teaching them how to talk about themselves to themselves.

So it’s framing and starting different classes or practices with body language and awareness with the body language and then strong words for those kids to create patterns and stepping into place. At a lot of high school athletics levels. They don’t start with that strong point. It starts in negative.

They start to lean in and push these guys down right from the get go. So NLP can have [00:39:00] power. And that’s why I love the huddle. Right, every practice, every weight training session, every game, we all start together. So now as a coach, I can control what my guys are thinking. So if they deviate from that body language, or that focus, We just go back to the huddle and then, and call them out.

So that’s, yeah, I do write a lot and do drills. I call it the science of the sidelines. So everything from body language to words, and then in practice, where to see this stuff. So you prepare for the game days. Cause game day sideline, that’s the most important. It’s the highest stress. Sometimes guys that don’t get in the games, they’re the negative ones.

They’re the, right, the Monday morning quarterback, but during the game on the sideline, even though they’re not talented enough to make the decision that they said, why didn’t you do that? That’s why they’re on the sideline. Neither here, they’re there. So [00:40:00] now my favorite example, and I start every season with this drill and we master it.

So I call it motivation drill. So two kids two lines, 10 yards apart, three to two, to four guys in each line. And so we get Derek Hanson sprint here. So he gets his 10 sprints, 10 deceleration. That’s what I’m getting out of it with. an EQ plus on there, so then everybody’s learning their name. It’s a jumble of seniors, varsity, JV, freshman, whatever.

And so you got to know everybody’s name. And when I sprint across that 10 yards, I’m going to high five the next kid. Then he’s going to sprint 10. They decelerate 10. But the rest of the line that isn’t sprinting, you’re screaming and cheering each other’s name. Let’s go. So I’m, I have a stopwatch and I make them hold it two minutes, three minutes.

And I just feel that ebb and flow of energy. And now to, to my team captains just start to, Hey, look for this and then [00:41:00] make them aware that they can hear it. They can feel it. And then guess what they’re in charge of doing is changing that energy and bringing it back to a high note. It does get boring, but that’s what I want.

And then they’re trained with this and now comes game day, comes sideline time. I don’t have to tell the guys get up or be positive. I just point them and say motivation drill. And now they all know what to do. They all know the names. They’re cheering and hooting and hollering and being silly. And that, that’s intimidating.

Lacrosse, the sidelines, we’re on the same sideline. Oh, okay. From the same box versus like football where we’re across. So any, they can, you can hear the other group, you can hear it. So now if if we’re changing energy, the other sideline, I wanted to hear it. And I guess final thing on NLP it’s I teach them how to be.

How to be champions, right? So if we let [00:42:00] up a bad play or a score or make a mistake, bottom line, good teams answer. We’re a good team. So I don’t say we’re a good team, I just tell them good teams answer, and then we go out there and answer. Like it’s okay to let up goals, touchdowns it’s just how you respond to that.

So help put them in a position to understand, hey, we’re a good team. This is what we’re going to do. Yeah. It’s deep. It’s fun. I love it. And then yeah, teaching others about it. It’s a passion.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah. And even like how you respond to a good buddy of mine trains, a lot of professionals, the NFL is talking about a few defensive backs he worked with and I was asking him, I said, what do you think is like the top quality to succeed at that highest level?

And I was thinking he’s going to talk about, ah, deceleration, this movement, that movement. And he’s like the ability to forget. I’m like, what? He’s yeah, because if you screwed up a play and even at the professional level, you [00:43:00] are going to give up some big plays if you play long enough it’s just part of the game.

It’s absolutely going to happen because like the players are really good, can actually learn the lesson they need to learn from that and then just forget about it. And the people who are not as good will, will stew on that and keep running it over. And then you start thinking about, all the thoughts you have, it’s changing your motor programming, maybe every genetic changes, it’s changing your output, like you’re not learning the new things, you’re blocking new things that are coming in and it’s just human nature to be stuck on the things that are negative because we’re so survival based.

And so I thought that was actually a very. Interesting skill.

Tex McQuilkin: Yeah that, that’s interesting. What I like about that is you’re always focused on the next play. And you’re still learning that lesson. So you’re smart enough and maybe it’s, maybe sometimes they play that team twice in a year.

Dr Mike T Nelson: You

Tex McQuilkin: remember from the previous game with that opponent and their little moves and jukes. And that’s the [00:44:00] game behind the game, which makes sports so amazing. It’s not just this is my argument against CrossFit as a sport, it’s just more. But there’s no strategy in chess match love the pitcher and batter, just the the dynamic between those two and the same mindset can for both of those I got to forget my last at bat.

I struck out and embarrassed myself or the pitcher just gave up a home run, but the next guy’s up. I got to focus there so that there’s a lot of value in that for youth as well, just to take into Don’t become a sin eater like I am so make a mistake and then learn from it and redirect

Yeah, so within teams like Coach, coach at all levels and it’s been interesting to just observe a lot of team dynamics and Apply it and I think the most difficult thing for coaches [00:45:00] Honestly is to relate to their athletes And our mutual friend, Coach Cab, he does it better than anybody. So no matter the level, no matter the sport, he finds that way to relate and connect.

And yeah, I’ve been in a lot of weight rooms and you just see this disconnect where coaches are so, they’re perfectionist about the program or the movement and they don’t make an effort through music or movies or humor or something to then meet that person where they’re at to then get them to improve their movement, to then put more weight on the bar.

Yeah, so I can see that with making mistake as a cornerback. If a coach is just caught up on the mistake, then that encouraged the athlete to catch up on the mistake versus remembering all the time that we got to spend together and the fun stuff and then turning it into a lesson. Yeah, if a coach has no relationship with [00:46:00] that individual, they’re more likely to just turn that into a negative that kid’s holds onto and then compounding plays of mistakes come into it, then now we’re just fighting through quicksand.

That dude’s in for a long day.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah. And I think about even the relationship the coach has with the entire team on terms of. When criticism and praise are allowed because now even at the college level and even sometimes the high school level Everything is televised or on social media or somebody’s filming and shooting everything where that was not The case many years ago.

Yeah professional level. Yes, but even I’d argue in the professional level We see more players who are miked up now we see more coaches that are showing different aspects of the game that we’ve never Been shown before it used to be always the hardcore coach, just yelling at his athletes about what they did wrong.

And what I thought was super interesting with [00:47:00] this again, I’m in Minnesota, I’m a Vikings fan. So sorry. One of the criticisms of Kevin O’Connell, this was mid season was that the old school people I felt are like, ah, he just, he doesn’t yell at his athletes. He’s not hard enough. Like he can’t, do the hard things.

And then when the Netflix series receivers came out. Jefferson was in that, and he still had his mic on in one of the closed door meetings where the press was not allowed. And the tone was very different, it wasn’t, he wasn’t angry, but you could tell he was very upset and he was explaining what went on, what they need to do better.

Which I thought was very different than what was shown publicly. And I know that was, you know that’s done on purpose, but I thought that was a very interesting style that I personally agree with, because I would imagine if I’m an athlete I don’t want to see my coach in. The media saying what a horrible performance I just, or something that’s, very [00:48:00] negative.

And yeah, so I thought that was a very interesting aspect to it.

Tex McQuilkin: Yeah. Thoughts on that. The, and this goes back to the high school coaches. So there’s a authoritarian leadership where it’s a do this or else. And then you have authoritative. Now I have an expectation of you. I see your potential and I’m going to hold you that to potential.

But I’m also going to help lead you and tell you and give you the tips and the tools that I feel will get you to that. So now, with authoritative, I have respect for you. I have this fun time, this dynamic, this player coach mentality. But at the same time, I’m still gonna hold you to a higher potential. So there, there’s a lot more range for a coach and it takes a more skilled individual to be an author, authoritarian leader than authoritative, where it’s, Hey, do this or else.

And that, that’s a cool trick. I [00:49:00] take that into consideration when. Coaching and training team captains, right? Every year we get a turnover and a new kid steps in and they feel more often than not. Okay, I have to lead. I tell kids, hey, freshmen, go clean this up. Hey, freshmen, go do this. So now, okay, this is an opportunity to help shape and lead that.

So now, instead of just telling them to go do this, why don’t you go with them and show them how to do it the first time and then. Now we’re establishing a relationship, so helping craft that for, and just cuing in and listening to how kids treat each other, you can help shape it away from authoritarian, more towards authoritative, and then in, in line with coaching development, relate is the very difficult, essential component, but once I can relate, now I put myself in a position to lead that individual role.

And once I can lead individually, now I can step in and lead a group. [00:50:00] So leading a team and feeling the motivation, the energy and all of that. So it’s interesting to see coaches that they don’t progress past individual and some sports require that where you are. a one on one coach and that’s okay.

So now it’s a NFL team. For example, a coach has to relate. They got to lead an individual there. Maybe their position their individual like Jefferson, but then I also got to lead my wide receivers room, two different dynamics. And cause Jefferson is a, is an all pro wide receiver. I’m going to treat him a little bit differently than I’m going to treat my rookie.

I can’t name any Vikings, but so. My rookie undrafted free agent is going to be treated a little bit different than my all pro, but they’re in the same room. So the energies and dynamics are different. And. Yeah, motivation, psychology, it’s all in there. And if I didn’t relate to this individual and find out one on one [00:51:00] how to lead them, it’s going to be tough when now I’ve got to factor in seven other dudes in there that all have different motivations and different contracts and different families and different upbringings and different.

So it’s it’s complex, but that’s fun. Those are problems that I like solving. And I imagine the time it takes to be an NFL coach, you better love Solving those problems too.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah. Cause it, even at the highest level, even lower levels I think on the outside, people will get criticized for the X’s and O’s and the plays they make.

Because even the armchair quarterback who’s watching a game, who’s never played football in his life and it hindsight’s always 2020, right? The coach and the players were a genius. If they went for it on fourth and two and made it, they’re a freaking idiot. If they went for it and missed it. Right? You can you’re always grading it on hindsight, which, obviously things you can learn from that too.

But, and then you forget the time course and how [00:52:00] fast you have to make those decisions. Right? You probably have a couple seconds at best to make the next decision for what play it is. Yes, you have a play you want to do. You’ve got a gameplay. You put a lot of thought into it. But, and then you add on top all The social aspects, the EQ, the culture, in addition to all of that, it, yeah I think at the professional level, I’d be curious in your opinion, I think EQ and culture are becoming much more of a thing that is looked for now, and even I think in recruitment of players to play within certain systems.

To me, I think that is like The next level, not only does he or she have to be talented, what is their work ethic? Do they want to learn? Do they, are they going to fit with our style of culture we’re trying to create? And I think those decisions will be more important than almost even the raw skill.

Yes, you have to be talented. Yes. You have to be good. But at the high level, a lot of people are really good that do [00:53:00] well in some systems and not so well in other systems. Yeah it is incredibly important and the value of leadership like a Tom Brady. And then even Antonio Brown who’s that wildcard steps in and even the best leaders within coaching and team captain and Brady still had challenge of helping him fit into it.

Tex McQuilkin: He fit their scheme. Great. But it, did he fit the Patriot culture?

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah.

Tex McQuilkin: So that, that’s the interesting thing. And then if we’re looking at that at the high school level, there’s an X factor that pros never have to deal with. It’s parents in communities. Yeah. I see all my parents at church. I see my parents at the grocery store.

So now we got to continue to have a dynamic relationship, even though they don’t agree with agree with substitutions and playing time. Yep. And they’re all experts,

Dr Mike T Nelson: bro. Like [00:54:00] they’re all experts.

Tex McQuilkin: Oh, you tell me. None of them. None of them. Have played lacrosse in their entire life. You’re right, I know.

That’s hilarious. Hey, come game time, they can tell me how to coach. And it’s alright dude let me, I try to help paint the picture for them that this is Texas high school club lacrosse. I’m coaching to give back and make sure these dudes are going to be rock stars for the rest of their lives.

At no point does that say lacrosse. I can help them get recruited and be D1. I’ve sent plenty of dudes to that level from small town. However, Like we got to establish a boundary here and the, and I’ve seen this. I can call this parent out because it’s not appropriate at all. They forced their way to exercise, walk around a track and it was.

It was harmful from the get go, and then the point where we pulled his son across for a [00:55:00] just solo, because he wasn’t necessarily getting a drill, and one on one coaching, and dad shouts from the track. Oh, jeez. You’re never gonna fix that. You want to talk about coaching scars? Oh. Freaking familial scars.

Yeah. So that was completely out of line and not appropriate. And then the, yeah, I have conflict for that with that individual every time I see them. And thank you to Brett Bartholomew for helping me manage and have all these different perspectives to understand it because yeah, I’m the one person that’s not going to back down from that guy.

Because I know the damage he’s doing and did to our team from his his position. So, dude I’ve been treated so poorly just from high school parents. that have no, no understanding of my pedigree as a player, athlete, or coach. [00:56:00] And it’s just, I don’t even know how to describe it. So all these tools, why I dive so deep to understand, is to help communicate to coaches that they give them tools for this individual and try to help that kid, because maybe you got four hours with them.

Where they got, the whole rest of the week with that parent and you can help plant a seed of Positivity and belief that they might not be getting anywhere else other than the field or the court.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah Cool, man. Unless questions we wrap up like a rapid fire question if A new coach is listening to this, maybe high school, maybe even in college.

What are the top four things they should consider about coaching that they may not have already thought of?

Tex McQuilkin: Coach, coach needs a coach. So you fail at the margin to your experience and you may be very experienced but find someone who’s [00:57:00] in a position that you want to get. And then this, coaching is a great community.

If you reach out to people more often than not, they’re willing to respond. And if they don’t find somebody that is, and I think that’s it. So be proactive and know that you can find somebody who’s more experienced and You can learn from anyone. So that’d be number one. I’m a nerd. I dive into, to all the books.

I showed you my bookshelf before the show.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah.

Tex McQuilkin: So deep dive and reach out to the authors. Help understand what led them to that versus getting attacked. And did I go to conferences? I speak at conferences. And if if Cal’s there, it’s very interesting. I see people like sit in the back and wait.

For like Q and a time.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah.

Tex McQuilkin: And they go after him and tack them. Hey, on page 47, blah, blah, blah. And it’s dude, why don’t you approach him and ask him his understanding experience that led him [00:58:00] to that. So dive into books, but then turn it into an interactive conversation if they’re still with us, there’s a lot of experts out there that have gone, but then.

They’ve had mentors and mentees. I mentioned Derek Hansen earlier and he was, he worked with Charlie Francis. So I can read Charlie Francis’s book. I can reach out to Hansen and Hansen’s willing to respond with his application of those tools based off that experience. And I, I would, I guess last thing I have in, Research your own coaching scars.

What did somebody say to you that still boils your blood? What happened? What is your relationship with your coach’s way back? Why was it good? Why was it bad? If it was awesome and you had, you were fortunate to have an amazing coach, understand why. And the final piece, I’ll say it, is sports don’t teach lessons.

[00:59:00] Coaches do. That football is an inanimate object. Your football coach Led you to that example. So all the high school dads that I got to deal with and say, Hey, football taught me this. You’re going to go play football, dude. No, you were fortunate to have an amazing coach. Not all of us were. So the, that’s the pieces, man.

So. Yeah. Thank you, Dr. Mike, man. It’s been fun. Get to know you in the mastermind over these years and diving into the research. And then, yeah, seeing and learning from you the breadth of just inside the body, outside the body and movement. And yeah, man, nutrition, making nutrition easy to understand and how to turn it into communication and energy.

So thank you.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Yeah. Well, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. And. We’re going to be able to find out more about all the great stuff you got going on. I know you got brand new website up. You’ve got the podcast, you’ve got a newsletter coming out.

Tex McQuilkin: Yeah, but aiming to teach, love teaching, love coaching.

Yeah. [01:00:00] Captainsandcoaches. com written out as same on Instagram and captainsandcoachespodcast. And Dr. Mike, I believe, episode 10. Yeah, we were on there. Yeah, which is a good one. We dive into triphasic training and some communication and it was good.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Awesome. Thank you so much, man. I really appreciate it and look forward to seeing you hopefully in March, I think.

Tex McQuilkin: Next time. Cool.

Dr Mike T Nelson: Cool, man. All right. Bye. See ya.

Thank you so much for listening. We’ve got some great podcasts coming up here in the near future. Tons of good stuff. Dr. Guillermo Escalante will be on very soon talking about the enhanced games. Dr. Mike Ormsby talking about fat regulation and metabolism. Anthony talking all about peptides Jordan, pain about the use of IV for nutrition and many [01:01:00] different things, Dr.

Patel, on a new test for mitochondrial function and many others. So stay tuned to the podcast, all that stuff coming out. Thank you so much. Really appreciate it. Hope to see you in the physical exert. If not, I’ll talk to all of you next week.

What do you suppose they call that? A novelty act? I don’t know, but it wasn’t too bad. Well, that’s a novelty.

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